FUNNY HEALTH QUOTES

“Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They’re dying, of course, but they look terrific.”

– Bill Crosby

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” – Mark Twain

“Older people shouldn’t eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get.” —Robert Orben

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.” —Lily Tomlin

“I am dying with the help of too many physicians.” —Alexander the Great

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?” —George Carlin

“If I knew I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” —Mickey Mantle

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” —Ellen DeGeneres

“Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them”. – Martin H. Fischer

“It’s bizarre that the (grocery store) produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician”. – Meryl Streep

“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches”. – V.L. Allineare

Cheers!