A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what’s for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what’s for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?"

"James, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, PIZZA!"

—

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone hiding under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . ‘I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.’

‘Just put yourself in my hands for one year,’ said the psychiatrist. ‘Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..’

How much do you charge?’

Eighty dollars per visit,’ replied the expert.

I’ll sleep on it,’ I said.

Six months later, he met me on the street. ‘Why didn’t you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?’ he asked.

Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!

A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!’

‘Is that so?’ With a bit of an attitude he said, ‘and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?’

‘He told me to cut the legs of my bed! Ain’t nobody under there anymore!’

—

Source: Friends and Internet