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Category Archives: PARENTING


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PRACTICAL PARENTING TIPS FOR NEW PARENTS

BBC had a lovely article on advice for new parents.

Here are some of the other gems that you rarely hear:

BE REALISTIC

Baby will change your life and routine. Social life? Forget it. No parties, movie night outs. No good night rest. Your life for the next two years will feel similar to a constant hangover. Don’t worry, go with it, even try to enjoy it – it will get better.

DON’T WORRY

You may feel lost and wonder what you have traded. Don’t worry and sweat the small stuff.. You will learn to love your kids for who they really are and enjoy them and realize that they really are one of the best things that happened to you.

HOW TO HOLD

When you pick up a child hold them side-on. That way they can’t kick you in the groin. J

HOW TO DECORATE YOUR ROOM

Keep a box of tissues handy in every room to mop up nasty spills.

ON ADVICES
Follow your instincts. Everyone, including complete strangers, will give you advice. Never argue – smile and say, "That is very interesting." Then ignore the advice unless you actually agree with it or pay for it (e.g. Doctor).

ONLY PIECE OF ADVICE TO FOLLOW

Love them a lot. No-one on their death bed ever said "I wish I spent more time in the office" – don’t regret placing your children above your career. Secondly, loving your children is not equivalent to letting them do/get whatever they want. Think long-term – the goal is for them to be responsible contributing members of society who know they are loved by their parents.

ON PROXY

Children are not your proxy. Don’t use them as competition.

ON RELATIONSHIP

Work the chores together with your husband

ON SLEEP

When baby sleeps, you sleep. Housework can wait. Never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation. It can turn the most pleasant of persons into a raging psychopath.


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PARENTING HUMOR

PARENTING QUOTES

”Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.”

Author: Sam Levenson

”Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.”

Author: John Wilmot

”It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.”

Author: Ben Bergor

”The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.”

Author: Evan Esar

”Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”

Author: Bob Thaves

”Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.”

Author: Anonymous

”America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.”

Author: Anonymous

”By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”

Author: Charles Wadsworth


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HEALTH QUOTES

· “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise” ~Benjamin Franklin

· “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food” ~Hippocrates

· “Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy” ~Author Unknown

· “Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind and spirit. When one is free from physical disabilities and mental distractions, the gates of the soul open.” ~B.K.S. Iyengar

· “If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it” ~Common sense

· “Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other.” ~Joseph Addison

· “The doctor of the future will no longer treat the human frame with drugs, but rather will cure and prevent disease with nutrition.” ~Thomas Edison

· “To insure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~William Londen

· “Don’t eat anything your great-great grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food. There are a great many food-like items in the supermarket your ancestors wouldn’t recognize as food.. stay away from these” ~Michael Pollan

· “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” ~Irish Proverb

· “Today, more than 95% of all chronic disease is caused by food choice, toxic food ingredients, nutritional deficiencies and lack of physical exercise.” ~Mike Adams

· If diet is wrong, medicine is of no use. If diet is correct, medicine is of no need. – Ancient Ayurvedic proverb

· “Health is that state of moral, mental and physical wellbeing that enables a person to face any crisis in life with the utmost grace and ease” – Pericles 5th C BC


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MANAGING “CAIN AND ABEL” or SIBILING RIVALRY

WHAT IS SIBLING RIVALRY?

Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and/or sisters. Some children are lucky to become best friends with their siblings. And some have a love-hate relationship.

The first thing to realize is that sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up. It certainly drives parents crazy. Children are like little lawyers, always demanding fairness and equality and fighting for what they perceive are their natural-born rights. This kind of rivalry starts even before the second child is born and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

CAUSES?

• Each child is competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities and interests. They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.

• Children feel they are getting unequal amount of your attention and responsiveness. And the need evolves over time.

WHAT COULD YOU DO?

The key to remember: How parents treat their children and react to conflict can make a big difference in how well siblings get along.

• Be a role model. Children often fight more in families where parents think aggression and fighting between siblings normal and an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.

• Set ground rules for acceptable behavior. Tell the kids to refrain from hitting, cursing, name-calling, yelling, and no door-slamming. Solicit their input on the rules as well as the consequences, when they break them. This teaches kids that they’re responsible for their own actions, regardless of the situation or how provoked they feel and discourages any attempts to negotiate regarding who was right or wrong.

• Don’t get involved, unless it is absolutely necessary. Step in only if there’s a danger of physical harm. If you always intervene, you risk creating other problems. The kids may expect you to rescue all the time. They will be waiting for you to solve every time, rather than solving the problems themselves. You inadvertently will become the savior of one and the other will feel neglected. That would foster much resentment. By the same token, rescued kids may feel they can get away with anything because they’re protected. Always encourage the kids to resolve the crisis themselves.

• If the language or name calling is a problem, you’ve to talk and coach the child when they are calm. This is different from intervening or stepping in and separating the kids.

• Let not the children force you to think that everything has to be “fair” and “equal”. Life is not fair. Sometimes one kid needs more than the other.

• Be proactive in giving your kids one on one attention directed to their interests and needs. Stress in your Childs’ lives can shorten their fuses and decrease their ability to tolerate frustration, leading to more conflict.

• Make sure kids have their own space and time to do their stuffs without sibling tagging along.

• Have fun together as a family. This can help ease tensions between siblings. Parental attention is something many fights spring from. Also Stress in your lives can decrease the amount of time and attention parents can give the children and that increases the sibling rivalry.

• Don’t play favorites.

• Don’t compare your children.

• Let each child be who they are. Don’t try to pigeon hole or label them.

• Enjoy each of your children’s individual talents and successes.

• Set you kids to cooperate rather than compete.

• Teach your children positive ways to get attention from each other. Show them how to approach another child and ask them to play and share their belongings and toys.

• Celebrate your children’s differences.

• Let each child know they are special in their own way.

• Listen really listen to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel.

WHEN DO YOU NEED HELP

Seek help for sibling conflict if it,

• Is so severe that it’s leading to marital problems.

• Creates a real danger of physical harm to any family member

• Is damaging to the self-esteem or psychological well-being of any family member.

• May be related to other significant concerns, such as depression.

If something is bothering about the fights always talk to your doctor. Doctor may be able to guide you.


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PARENTING WISDOM

Parenting Quotes

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them. Frank A. Clark

All children behave as well as they are treated. Jan Hunt

Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. Dr. Henker

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation. C. Everett Koop

Praise your children openly, reprehend them secretly. W. Cecil

Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry. Alvin Price

Discipline doesn’t break a child’s spirit half as often as the lack of it breaks a parents heart. Anonymous

Discipline your son in his early years while there is still hope. If you don’t you will ruin his life. Anonymous

It is better to bind your children to you by a feeling of respect and by gentleness, than by fear. Terence

To understand your parents’ love you must raise children yourself.Chinese Proverb

Whoever said it first spoke with insight and wisdom: you don’t own children, you only borrow them. Anne Linn

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. Anonymous

First you have to teach a child to talk, then you have to teach it to be quiet. Prochnow

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be. David Bly

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother, and the most important thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father. Anonymous

A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes. Russell Lynes

There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes. Dr. Who

If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you’re the grandma. Theresa Bloomingdale

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry S. Truman

A mother understands what a child does not say. Jewish Proverb

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinhouse

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.Lion

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. Lin Yutang

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. Harold Hulbert

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for. Anonymous

Children Learn What They Live – Dorothy Law Neite

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
He a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.


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HOW DO I QUIET MY CHILD’S TEMPER TANTRUM? THROUGH COMPASSION

Toddler’s world is filled with stress and strains like us adults. They are also very busy playing, learning and discovering new new things in their own small world. Toddlers are trying to master this world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they turn to the only tool at their disposal for venting their frustration. That tool is called tantrum.

Tantrums are often the result of kid’s frustrations with the world. Temper tantrums is a sudden, unplanned display of emotion. It is not just an act to get attention. Tantrums enter into toddler’s world at the age of 2 and find its way out as he grows old by four. They are common in every child’s life as frustrations are an unavoidable part in their lives.

As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease. Toddlers tend to understand more than they can express. Imagine not being able to communicate what you want. A frustrating experience that may precipitate tantrums.

Increasing need for autonomy also causes tantrums. Toddlers want a sense of independence and control over environment. This creates a kind of power struggle.

Tantrum tactics.

The most important thing to remember is not to lose your cool. When you are faced with a kid in the throes of a tantrum, no matter what the cause is, keep calm. Don’t get frustrated. Take deep breaths and think clearly.

Your child relies on you. Hitting and spanking won’t help. They send the message that using force and physical punishment are okay. That will lead to more negative behaviors.

First, try to understand what is going on with the child. Where the child is coming from. If the child is disappointed, he needs comfort. If he is hungry/sleepy, he may need food or sleep.

In a different situation, if the child is refused something, toddlers have a fairly simple reasoning skill. So you aren’t going to get far in explaining. Ignoring the outburst is one way to handle it.

Kids, who are in danger of hurting themselves and others, should be moved to a safer and quiet place.

Strategies in dealing with tantrums

· Make sure he is acting up because he isn’t getting enough attention. Shower the kids with attention. Even if the kid is playing, just talking to him, commenting and praising his behavior will go a long way. Rewarding him for good behavior helps a lot. This in turn will help to increase those positive behaviors.

· Try and give them control over small things. Like “Do you want apple or orange juice?” “Do you want to brush now or later?” “Where do you want to play?”

· Keep off-limits objects out of reach or out of sight. So the struggle becomes less.

· Distract the child. Take advantage of the short attention span of the toddlers. Replace the object. Take him away from the scene of action.

· Set the stage for success when the child is playing. When he is trying to master new task offer him age-appropriate toys or games. Start something simple before moving in to challenging ones.

· Consider the request carefully when the child wants something. Is it outrageous? May be it isn’t. Choose your battles. Accommodate when you can.

· Know your child’s limits. When the child is sleepy or tired it is not the time to go for a grocery shopping.

· If safety issue is involved, opt for time-out. Kids must understand that you are inflexible on safety issues.

After the upheaval of tantrums, what next?

· Don’t reward the child after tantrums. If you give in, then tantrums becomes a launching pad for the kid. If you allow yourself to be held hostage by tantrums, your kid will continue to use them perpetually.

· Toddlers will be vulnerable after tantrums. So now is the time for big hugs and reassurances that no matter what he is loved.

· Make sure your kid gets enough sleep and food on time. That will dramatically reduce the tantrums.

When do you need a doctor’s help?

· You are uncomfortable with your responses or you feel out of control.

· You keep giving in.

· The tantrum increases in frequency, intensity and duration.

· Your child hurts himself or others.

· Your child is destructive.

· Your child displays more low self-esteem, or extreme dependence.

US EDUCATION: HOW IT STACKS

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SPIRITUAL POEM ON BECOMING A MAN

If

– Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!


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RETHINK YOUR CHILD’S HALLOWEEN CANDY

Do you realize what the Halloween candy that you child brings contain?

Read the ingredients and if you find any of these, think twice before you let them gobble.

1. Vanillin – Vanillin is a phenolic aldehyde. You’ll find this ingredient in most cheap chocolate candy. Most synthetic vanillin is today synthesized from the petrochemical precursors guaiacol and glyoxylic acid. Vanillin can trigger allergic reactions and migraine headaches in some people.

2. Soy lecithin – this is an emulsifier to bind fat and water together. Thanks to the FDA and Monsanto, soybeans grown in the U.S. are almost exclusively genetically modified. If you are religious Soy-derived lecithin is prohibited on Passover for Ashkenazi Jews.

3. Shellac – Also known as “confectioner’s glaze”. Shellac is a resin secreted by the female lac bug. It is used in combination with wax for preserving and imparting a shine to citrus fruits, such as Lemons. It is also used in denture production.

4. Carmine – This gives the bright red color to candies. It is made of powdered cochineal (insect) corpses. Carmine may cause severe allergic reactions and anaphylactic shock to a subset of people.

5. Castoreum – is generally listed as “natural flavors”. Castoreum is the yellowish secretion of the castor sac which is, in combination with the beaver’s urine, used during scent marking of territory. Castoreum has been traditionally used in Scandinavia for flavoring snaps.

6. Tertiary Butylhydroquinone (TBHQ) – This lab creation is an antioxidant and used in preserving Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. At higher doses, it has some negative health effects on lab animals, such as producing precursors to stomach tumors and damage to DNA

7. Mono- and Diglycerides – They are often found in bakery products, beverages, ice cream, peanut butter, chewing gum, shortening, whipped toppings, margarine, confections, and candies (like Twizzlers). These are synthetic fats derived from cows or hogs, or partially hydrogenated vegetable oils.

8. Lanolin – Often called “gum base” and used as base for chewing gum. lanolin is a yellow waxy substance secreted by the sebaceous glands of wool-bearing animals.

9. Allura Red, Food Red 17, C.I. 16035, FD&C Red 40 & Related dyes include Sunset Yellow FCF, Scarlet GN, tartrazine, and Orange B – This food dye is made from coal tar or petroleum and is found in a lot of candies like Jolly Ranchers, Starburst, Dum Dums, Tootsie pops. The following additives were tested in the research:

· Sunset yellow (E110) (FD&C Yellow #6) — coloring found in soft drinks

· Carmoisine (E122) (FD&C Red #3) — red coloring in gelatin foods

· Tartrazine (E102) (FD&C Yellow #5) — yellow coloring

· Ponceau 4R (E124) — red coloring

· Sodium benzoate (E211) — preservative

· Quinoline Yellow WS (E104) (Food Yellow 13) — food coloring

· Allura red AC (E129) (FD&C Red #40) — orange / red food dye[6]

The study found increased levels of hyperactivity and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children consuming the chemicals.

10. Gelatin – Used as a gelling agent in food, pharmaceuticals, photography, and cosmetic manufacturing. Gelatin is derived from pork skins, pork, horses, and cattle bones, or split cattle hides and used in yogurts and Jello. Gelatin is also used in nail polish remover and makeup applications. Vegans and strict vegetarians choose not to eat foods containing gelatin made from animals. Islam, Hindus and Jains forbids consumption of pork and thus gelatin

11. Sorbitol – Sorbitol is a sugar substitute. Sorbitol can be used as a non-stimulant laxative via an oral suspension or enema. Even mild oversumption of this sugar alcohol causes diarrhea. Sorbitol also may aggravate irritable bowel syndrome,and similar gastrointestinal conditions, resulting in severe abdominal pain for those affected, even from small amounts ingested. It has been noted that the sorbitol added to SPS (Sodium Polystyrene Sulfonate, used in the treatment of hyperkalemia) can cause complications in the GI tract, including bleeding, perforated colonic ulcers, ischemic colitis and colonic necrosis, particularly in patients with uremia.

12. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts.

13. Benzoic Acid – Used in low sugar products. It can temporarily inhibit digestion and deplete glycine levels.

14. BVO – brominated vegetable oil. The toxic flame retardant chemical was first used to keep plastics from catching on fire. In the last decade we have seen it enter in a variety of foods to keep the artificial flavoring chemicals from separating from the rest of the liquids. It is found in certain sodas, juices, and sports drinks, including Mountain Dew, Fanta Orange, Sunkist Pineapple, and some Powerade flavors. (Gatorade announced it would remove the compound from its drinks in Spring 2013.) Scientists have linked too much BVO to bromide poisoning symptoms like skin lesions, memory loss, and nerve disorders.

15. Titanium dioxide: This was primarily used to make food look much whiter and thus convey a feeling of “clean”. Commonly used in paints and sunscreens, food companies add it to lots of things we eat, including processed salad dressing, coffee creamers, and icing. Titanium is a mined substance that is sometimes contaminated with toxic lead.

Also read:

1. DANGERS OF FOOD COLOR ADDITIVES http://txnaturalpediatrics.com/2013/08/12/dangers-of-food-color-additives/

2. Chemicals to Avoid: http://txnaturalpediatrics.com/resources/parenting/chemicals-to-avoid/

Source: Multiple including Wikipedia,


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NEWS FLASH: TOO MUCH MEDIA CONSUMPTION FRYING OUR KIDS

STUDY DETAILS:

MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS INCREASING AT AN ALARMING RATE FOR CHILDREN 0-8 YEARS OLD.

• Seventy-two percent of children age 8 and under have used a mobile device for some type of media activity such as playing games, watching videos, or using apps, up from 38% in 2011.

• The amount of time spent using these devices in a typical day has tripled, from an average of :05 a day among all children in 2011 up to :15 a day in 2013.

• Nearly six out of 10 children (58%) watch TV at least once a day

TAKEAWAY:

MEDIA AFFECTS YOUR KIDS.

It takes away time from interactions and interactive play.

It melts “family time”.

Parents:

• Model effective media use and help children learn to be selective and healthy in what they view.

• Take an active role in children’s media education by co-viewing TV, movies and videos with them and discuss important family values.

• Monitor what media your child is using and accessing, including any websites he/she is visiting and social media sites they use.

Source: survey of 1,463 parents of children age 8 by Common Sense Media and conducted by GfK from May 20 to June 12, 2013.


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WAYS TO SOOTH YOUR BABY

If your baby becomes fussy within an hour of eating, hunger may not be the reason. Instead of offering a bottle, try these “S’s:

· Swaddling. Being wrapped up in a blanket helps calm a cranky baby.

· Step on the metal: Strap the baby in a car seat and take a drive around the block. The gentle rocking of the car will put him/her to sleep.

· Shushing. Soothing sounds will help your child relax and settle.

· Sing a Lullaby: Babies love the sound of the parent’s gentle and loving voices.

· Swinging. Gently rocking your baby in your arms is another proven strategy.

· Sucking. Offer a pacifier instead of a bottle.

· Side/stomach position. This should only be used when your baby is awake, since sleeping on the belly raises risk for sudden infant death syndrome. When a baby is fussing, however, this position helps turn off crying.


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WHY ARE OUR KID’S OBESE? COMPARE THEIR SCHOOL LUNCH

Look at the pictures below and see for yourself:

a) How many servings of fruits, nuts, grains or vegetables do you see?

b) How many of these are processed food?

c) How many of these are freshly made?

d) How many of the food that US kid’s eat is loaded with sugar?

No wonder we lead the world in childhood OBESITY and most Kid’s related ailments.

Takeaway:

Pack your kid’s lunch at home and save their lives.

USA School Lunch

Compare to:

Brazil School lunch

Taiwan School Lunch

Singapore School lunch

France School Lunch


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PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM CYBER BULLYING

WATCH


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NEWS FLASH: DIAPERS GONE DIGITAL

Watch out parents: Diapers have gone digital. J

A company called Pixie Scientific has developed a new “smart” diaper capable of detecting urinary tract infections, kidney dysfunction and dehydration, according to the New York Times.

The diaper’s technology is relatively simple. A small patch at the front of the diaper contains four small, colored squares that each react differently when they come into contact with certain proteins, water content or bacteria. If an abnormal reaction occurs, the squares will change colors, signaling to parents that something might be off with their baby’s health, the New York Times reported.

Parents can also download an app, which can photograph the colored squares and give parents precise readings of their baby’s chemical data. That information can then be transmitted to a doctor, who will decide whether or not the baby needs to be examined further.

The diaper will be tested this September at the Benioff Children’s Hospital of the University of California, San Francisco. If all goes well, the product will be submitted for review by the Food and Drug Administration.

The founder of Pixie Scientific, Yaroslav Faybishenko, said he expects the high-tech diaper will cost about 30 percent more than non-digitized diapers. Faybishenko said he was inspired to develop the new technology by his own daughter. “I was driving with my wife and daughter one day, when my wife asked if the baby had wet herself,” Faybishenko told the New York Times. “I realized she was sitting in data.”

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/07/10/new-smart-diapers-track-babys-health-alert-parents/#ixzz2YfLOC7RN

WAY OUR CHILDREN LEARN

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CHILDREN AND DISCIPLINE

Every river needs a bank and every road needs a lane; Likewise, every life needs discipline. “Discipline has to do with civilizing your child so they can live in society,” says psychiatrist Dr. Michael Brody. Yet many kids test their parent’s limits, when it comes to disciplining children.

Let’s be honest:

There are no magic wand or quick fix methods.

Every parent have experienced frustration at one time or another with issues surrounding children and discipline.

There is no one-size-fits-all for all parenting or discipline issues.

So let’s look at some easy and simples ways to good discipline.

Firewalls to Good behavior.

Parents run against several firewalls when trying to discipline their children.

· Children who are disrespectful and don’t listen

· Children who do listen, but defy or deliberately disobey your request for good behavior

Our responsibility as a parent is to help our child become self-reliant, respectful and self-managing.

All the other institutions (like family, relatives, schools, therapists, churches, health-care professionals) can help. But the primary responsibility for discipline rests with parents. The American Mental Health Association describes three styles of parenting.

· The Authoritarian Parent: (S)He has clear expectations and consequences but show little affection towards his/her child. The parent may say thing like, “I say so” or “Because I’m mommy, that’s why”. This is the less effective method of parenting.

· The Permissive Parent: (S)he shows lots of affection towards his/her child but provides little discipline. Parents bend over backwards to meet all the wants of the kids. This is also a less effective form of parenting.

· An Collaborative Parent: (S)He has clear expectations and consequences and is also affectionate towards his/her child. This type of parent employs flexibility and collaborative problem solving with the child when dealing with behavioral challenges. This is the most effective form of parenting.

Choosing Discipline Techniques.

The techniques you choose may depend on the type of inappropriate behavior your child displays. It also depends on child’s age, child’s temperament and your parenting style. The following styles are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and The National Mental Health Association.

Reward good behavior: “Catch them being good.” Compliment your child when he/she shows the behavior you’ve been seeking.

Natural consequences: Your child does something wrong and you let the child experience the result of that behavior. (This does not apply for safety issues.) There’s no need for you to “lecture.” The child can’t blame you for what happened. For example, if a child brakes his/her milk mug in spite of your warning, let him clean up the mess. Let him drink in a different and less attractive mug in the future. Let him experience the results of his action, however disappointing it may be.

Logical consequences:This technique is similar to natural consequences in that, it involves describing to your child what the consequences will be for unacceptable behavior. The consequences are directly linked to the behavior. For example, if he/she doesn’t clean up the toys scattered all over, the child won’t get the toys for a week.

Taking away privilege:There isn’t logical or natural consequence for a bad behavior. Sometimes you really don’t have time to think it through. In this case, the consequence for unacceptable behavior may be taking away privileges. For example, if a middle schooler doesn’t complete the said homework due to video games. Take away his electronic time till his work improves. This works best if the privilege is related in some way to the behavior. It should also be

· Something the child values and

· it should be taken away as soon as possible after the inappropriate behavior.

What About?

Spanking?Corporal (physical) punishment such as spanking is not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics or National Mental Association. Why? Because:

· Spanking may make the child more aggressive.

· Spanking can become more violent and harm the child.

· Spanking may cause children to think that it is okay to physically hurt someone we love.

Time outs: It works if you know exactly what the child did wrong. A thinking time. Time-out location should be a quiet and boring place. No bedrooms where he/she will play and go to sleep eventually. Not a place where he/she will get hurt himself. It only works when the children are 3 and older. With about a minute of time-out for each year of age. This works best with kids whom the separation from the parent is truly seen as a deprivation.

In Conclusion

Remember that in the end you are trying to raise a loving child who chooses the right path in life independently. Discipline is just a means of encouraging that behavior through external means. Use it wisely to help build their confidence and character.


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TEETH STUDY REVEALS “DIET SODA = METH ADDICTION”

STUDY:

Dr. Mohamed Bassiouny, professor of restorative dentistry at the Temple University School of Dentistry in Philadelphia in the journal General Dentistry:

Woman in her 30s who drank 2 liters of diet soda daily for three to five years experienced tooth rot and decay remarkably similar to that suffered by a 29-year-old methamphetamine addict and a 51-year-old habitual crack cocaine user.

Methamphetamine and crack are known to ravage the mouths of users, and the drug abusers need all of their teeth extracted. The acid in soda is in the form of citric acid and phosphoric acid and does more or less the same.

RESULT:

"You look at it side-to-side with ‘meth mouth’ or ‘coke mouth,’ it is startling to see the intensity and extent of damage more or less the same,"

How does the industry react?

A group representing soft drink manufacturers said this case study should not be seen as an indictment of diet sodas generally.

BOTTOM LINE

Sugar-free soda is no better than regular soda when it comes to dental decay. Avoid them. Especially for kids.

PARENTING FUNNIES (3)

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NORTH DALLAS – HOW FIT ARE WE?

STUDY:

The annual American Fitness Index, from the American College of Sports Medicine, is based on a number of health behaviors including smoking, exercise, obesity rates, chronic health problems and access to health care. It also looks at the environment including availability of parks, recreational facilities, walking trails and farmers’ markets. The fitness index was designed by health and medical experts.

So How do we Rank?

FITTEST

1. Minneapolis-St. Paul

2. Washington, D.C.

3. Portland, Ore.

4. San Francisco

5. Denver

6. Boston

7. Sacramento

8. Seattle

9. Hartford, Conn.

10. San Jose

43. Houston

44. Dallas

(LEAST FIT)

50 – Oklahoma City

Source: visit americanfitnessindex.org

PARENTING FUNNIES (2)

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